2022 Week 5 Power Rankings

Written Oct. 12, 2022 | Published Oct. 12, 2022

Nathanial Abrajano | Writer for SBHL Networks

A lot of movement now after Week 5 with especially big leaps (or falls) from Abefroman and The 37th Chamber. SINCERE’s Team is sincere when he says the top spot is his, as he sticks on to the Number 1 Ranking. And a “Legend” says there's “Gold” at the bottom of the pit. Here’s how everyone ranks after this fifth week of the season:

1. SINCERE's Team

Week 4 ranking: 1 ◄►

Number one in scoring and undefeated in this league, SINCERE’s Team stands alone at the top. The one-two punch of QB Josh Allen and WR Gabe Davis, provided his team with 74 points (More than half the total score of his opponent, Julio Think You Are? I Am!). His bench may not provide much points, but if his starting line up stays healthy (look at you, McCaffrey, Mostert, Samuel, and Penny), the team will continue to shower his opponents with points at a rate that is unmatched. SINCERE’s Team will try to ride the hot streak against Ronnie’s Squad, who is the only team who may be able to keep pace with SINCERE’s Team’s point output, in Week 6.

2. TD Do You Love Me

Week 4 ranking: 3 (▲1)

TD Do You Love Me continues to fire on all cylinders, supplanting Ronnies Squad in the rankings by defeating him 155.18 to 118.58. RBs Austin Ekeler and Derrick Henry are showing why they are top tier fantasy RBs by continuously getting rushing opportunities and finding the goalline. Pair that with QB Patrick Mahomes (who does what Mahomes does) and you got the makings of a championship team. Facing a softer match-up against Shawn Brady in Week 6, TD Do You Love Me, will have some wiggle room to see if his WRs can find a groove and provide consistent point output for his team. If so, that’ll take his team to the next level.

3. Ronnie's Squad

Week 4 ranking: 2  (▼1)

Fourth in the standings, Third, in the Power Rankings, Second in Points per game, but still First in his Division. Even with a loss against TD Do You Love Me, Ronnie’s Squad continues to hold on to the podium position. WRs AJ Brown and Amon-Ra St. Brown both had particularly dry games this week. If his team performs as they did this week and his WRs bounce back, there’s a chance he can claim the first victory against SINCERE’s Team in Week 6. 

4. ThatManAgain...

Week 4 ranking: 5 (▲1)

Zero points from injured WR Tee Higgins did nothing to prevent ThatManAgain… from securing the win against Horsedick Boy’z in Week 5. RB Breece Hall showcased why he was the number one pick in this rookie draft, scoring a hardy 26.70 points. RB Josh Jacobs filled in nicely for injured Jonathan Taylor, scoring 27.80. ThatManAgain… will face SexySandwich who has been slowly creeping up the rankings, in week 6. 

5. Horsedick boy'z

Week 4 ranking: 4 (▼1)

Once at the top of the rankings, Horsdick Boy’z has fallen far after a back-to-back poor performance. Low scores and a loss will do that to you. His team relies on QB Lamar Jackson’s ability to pile on points in the ait as well as the ground. When he does well. So does Horsedick Boy’z. If TE George Kittle and RB Najee Harris can find more catching opportunities, that will relieve the burden of winning from L. Jackson, and give Horsedick Boy’z a better chance to bounce back. Most of his players have a softer matchup in Week 6, against The 37th Chamber. This will give the rest of his players a chance to bring points to the table and turn this team around. 

6. Julio Think You Are? I Am!

Week 4 ranking: 6 ◄►

Fourth overall in total points scored but twelfth overall in the standings. Julio Think You Are? I Am! Has had some tough breaks.  RB Joe Mixon and WR Christian Kirk has been slightly underperforming this season, (totaling only 28 points within two weeks) and a step up from them can bring some balance to this team. He’ll find relife next week against The Gold Standard who has been fighting to just not be last. 

7. SexySandwich

Week 4 ranking: 8 (▲1)

While he didn’t break 100 points in Week 5, it was enough to deliver another loss to JonLegends (99.46 to 84.10).  With the talents of Russel Wilson, Darnell Mooney, and Brandon Aiyuk, One would expect more from this team. However, all of them have been held back by poor coaching or poor QB play. Rookie WR Chris Olave has shown his value in his first season, but he can’t carry a team on his own. He’ll be taking on 2nd overall ThatManAgain…. It’ll be an uphill battle but SexySandwich has the ingredients he needs if they can come together. 

8. AbeFroman

Week 4 ranking: 11 (▲3)

AbeFroman continues to prove that he is more than “just an expansion team” after defeating The Gold Standard and moving up three spots in the Power Rankings. TE Dallas Goedert and WR Allen Lazard have been unexpectedly consistent this year and continue to be a staple in AbeFromans starting line-up.  He’s squeezing out points from his frankenstein of a team, but will need WR Russel Gage to live up to his 2019 hype and an opportunity for RB Alexander Mattison to get out on the field more in order to climb higher in week 6. 

9. Team_MAGA

Week 4 ranking: 9 ◄►

RB Leonard Fournette showed up in a big way scoring almost double his usual output with 30.90 points for the week. Fournettes performance covered bad plays by WR Bryan Edwards and RB Elijah Moore who scored less than 2 points each. There's still gaps in output as Myles Sanders only came up with 7.40 pints. The very boom-or-bust roster will need to boom in Week 6 when the face the rising, Subject To Change. 

10. Subject to Change

Week 4 ranking: 12 (▲2)

   Subject To Change is changing his ways. The (3-2) team defeated I’ll Fuck Your Dad without much worry, because he received  points from every position. Notably, TE Travis Kelce scored 30.00 Points, which is more than his opponent's Quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, who has never scored more than 21.00 this year. Will Subject To Change’s balanced attack be enough against Team MAGA’s boom-or-bust roster? If they had played this week, Yes. 

11. Shawn Brady

Week 4 ranking: 10 (▼1)

3-2 is a respectable record, after defeating BUE in Week 5. But 74.14 total points would have lost to anyone else. This winning team had five players score less than six points. At least he’s assured that RB Saquan Barkley and TE David Njoku will support the floor as they have be constantly met or exceeded expectations on a weekly basis. Shawn Brady will need his whole team's might in Week 6, when he faces TD Do You Love Me, who ranks number 2 on out list. 

12. The 37th Chamber

Week 4 ranking: 7 (▼5)

In the middle of the pack, The 37th Chamber hit with QB Justin Fields (19.02 Points) and with RB Toney Pollard (14.60 Points). However, he missed with rookie WR Drake London (5.50 Points) and TE Pat Freiermuth (2.20 Points). If everyone can fire in synch, in week 6, he might slip a win against Horsedick Boy’z, who is in a bit of a decline. 

13. I'll Fuck Your Dad

Week 4 ranking: 14 (▲1)

Another loss to I’ll Fuck Your Dad drops him to 13th overall in the official standings, but the fact that he has more points than the teams below, he actually gets a bump up in the Power Ranking, coincidentally as the 13th ranked. He’ll face an easy target and pad some stats when he faces, last place, JonLegends. I’ll Fuck Your Dad will just need to the same thing he has been and he’ll get the win. He’ll never hear the end of it, if he gives JonLegends his first win in Week 6. 

14. BUE

Week 4 ranking: 13 (▼1)

With the Third lowest total points (420 points), BUE loses to Commissioner Shawn Brady. Everybody, not named Stafford, ended the week with a single digit score. There is some potential in his team, but no one has stepped up, yet. He’ll face fellow Expansion Classmate, AbeFroman, and will need a couple players to break out, if he wants to show that he's the best in his class. 

15. The Gold Standard

Week 4 ranking: 15 ◄►

“And another one gone and another one gone, Another one bites the dust”  QB Teddy Bridgewater got a concussion early in week 5 and gave him zero points and zero healthy quarterbacks next week. He lost every positional battle except for WR Josh Reynolds, who scored more than his opponents Wrs (12.20 Points). I’m not sure how the quarterback-less team will win against a high scoring team like Julio Think You Are? I Am! But what a story it will be if it happens. 

16. JonLegends

Week 4 ranking: 16 ◄►

Ooof! Still last… 

Many teams will play their ranking neighbors in Week 6, this will likely cause more shuffling in the Power Rankings. This will be a pivotal week, determining the trajectory of each team onwards. I’ll be following SINCERE’s Team vs Ronnies Squad as the two highest scoring teams, I expect to watch them rain down points for themselves in this great storm of a match up and I’ll Fuck Your Dad vs JonLegends. Since they're co-workers, they will never escape the shame that is, to lose to one another. We will see how this all plays out in the next issue of The SBHL Magazine.